The Fawn Response

In 1859, Charles Darwin published his infamous book On the Origin of Species which, among other things, discussed the evolutionary force of survival that drives life on this planet. Human beings are not exempt from the physiologic forces that cause us to adapt to our environment in order to survive. The human body contains the autonomic nervous system (ANS) which is divided into the sympathetic, and parasympathetic nervous system (SNS and PNS respectively). The former triggers our “fight or flight” response, and the latter our “rest and digest” response. The fight or flight response is triggered during times of threat and results in an increased heart rate, increased sweat production and the like, all functions helpful in helping us humans fight or run against a predator in the wild. However, this description of our threat system is overly simplistic. Researchers now commonly add a third “F” to this list, freeze. Some animals in the wild will instead of running or fighting, play dead, and this response is characterized with a decrease in heart rate (Schmidt et al., 2008). Again, despite the opposite physical response, this freeze response is an unconscious coping mechanism to the detection of a threat. Despite no longer being in the wild, human beings are still subject to these physical responses from stressors. Studies have even found the freeze response may activate in humans during social situations that induce panic, anxiety and threat (Roelofs et al., 2010; Schmidt et al., 2008). Additionally, those who have suffered from childhood trauma may be more physiologically susceptible to threat inducing events (Pole et al., 2007).

There is a 4th “F”, proposed by Pete Walker known as the “fawn response” (Pete Walker, n.d.). This response is characterized by seeking safety through appeasing the needs and wishes of others (Pete Walker, n.d.). This habit of appeasement and a lack of self-oriented action is thought to stem from childhood trauma. This form of coping does not stem from physical or sexual abuse, but emotional abuse (Reyome, 2010). Studies have shown that childhood maltreatment that is characterized by emotional neglect and a lack of nurturance often produces individuals with habits of codependency and self-silencing (Dodge Reyome & Ward, 2007; Reyome et al., 2010). A collection of studies has also indicated that codependents tend to perform actions that are self-sacrificing and self-defeating (Reyome, 2010). These individuals act submissively in order to avoid conflict, often in a manner that makes them feel inferior and under valued. Often, this can come from a desire to please others, but comes at the cost of neglecting the desires and needs of the self. This, of course, can lead to poor life choices and social habits later in life. A positive association has been found between childhood parental rejection and the development of intimate relationships containing both psychological and physical abuse (Taft et al., 2008). It can also harm the development of healthy social skills in general. Polyvagal theory developed by Stephen Porges describes how the status of the neuronal threat system affects the processes of social behavior (Porges, 1998). More specifically, those that have more PNS activity (non-threat induced state) exhibit more pro-social behavior (Porges, 2007). Given that those who suffer from the fawn response are more frequently in a threat induced mindset, they will be less able to perform and execute healthy social behaviors and will even have a more difficult time expressing their emotions (Porges, 2003). This can potentially create a vicious cycle of poor relationships that exaggerate the unhealthy attachment styles leading to more unhealthy behaviours and consequently unhealthy relationships. Furthermore, as attachment styles are often inherited at a very young age by attachment wounds in the formative years, it may render the next generation of healthy and rewarding relationships to be difficult. The hardship of emotional abuse as a child can lead to a poor self-image and unhealthy relationship choices and patterns. It is thus imperative to be aware of these trends so that they may be avoided and healed.

“The impact of the early mother-infant relationship on child development has been well established in the literature, with attachment theorists having focused on the correlation between a mother’s capacity for self-regulation and connection (e.g., attunement) with children’s health and developmental outcomes. Because the transition to parenthood is often a stressful one, research has also focused on the importance of the mother’s external and internal support (e.g., self-awareness, recognition of needs) in promoting healthy mother-infant relationships. One promising field in relation to increased internal support is mindfulness, a practice shown to increase emotional regulation while decreasing stress and anxiety. Described as non-judgmental, present-moment awareness, mindfulness has received significant empirical attention over the past three decades and has recently been theorized as an important contributing factor in healthy mother-child relationships.” Source

The research of the fawn response leads to two major implications: therapeutic and parental. From a therapeutic point of view, it is important to unravel the events that lead to certain behaviours. Clinicians should help their patients explore their history, in order to understand why an individual responds in an unhealthy way to a certain social circumstance (Reyome et al., 2010). Self-awareness then becomes a crucial aspect of the exploration of one’s emotional habits, and the path towards healing (Dodge Reyome & Ward, 2007). One can also do this on their own. If you feel like you suffer from this habit, start practicing mindfulness. Start becoming more aware of your thoughts and feelings that drive these actions, and reflect upon where they originate.

From a parental point of view, it highlights the importance of proper love and compassion during parenting. A human being is defined, in part, by their life experiences. The experiences during childhood provide some of the most crucial moments that define the emotional habits throughout life. As a parent, it is important to show the utmost love and compassion towards a child so that they may develop healthy emotional habits and attachment styles. It’s about cultivating a gentle attentive presence more than any other factor. To show emotional neglect, avoidance and abuse is to achieve an utmost disservice to those we love.

Often, we humans view one another as independent individuals with their isolated choices and freedoms. We often neglect the fact that the love and compassion we show each other goes a long way in developing individuals, and therefore a community, that promotes healing and joy. It is important that we take time to be mindful of how we act, and respond to others, in order to produce a world that we all deeply desire.